Sunday, 3 January 2010

Fuckbook ruins (love) lives.

Hello lovers, the new year is upon us! Yay! And did you get a new year’s kiss from a randomer? I didn’t but that’s probably for the best cause contracting a cold sore for the new year is not my idea of fun. Anyway today I will discuss a phenomenon that had single-handedly defined the last decade and no I am not talking about MJ’s death, but about social networking.

Now with social networking you think there’s a whole world of exciting opportunities out there but I think it actually ruins (love) lives. Okay maybe that’s a bit too over-dramatic but it certainly takes away a lot of options too. And yes of course I am only talking about social networking in terms of dating guys, hello? Are you listening?

Soooo, let’s assume you saw a hot guy at a club and your friend kinda knows him but there wasn’t time to properly get introduced…what do you do the next morning? Obviously you online-stalk him. There’s a high possibility that you will find him as well cause you know friends of friends always come up first in the search. So then you can see his profile (due to the new Fuckbook regulations only parts of it, but still enough) and then shock horror…..he likes Coldplay. Or he is a fan of Big Brother but not in the ironic sense but in the real sense cause he is commenting about it on his wall as well. Or even worse he has loads of photos with random bitches around him, which either means he’s a major player or gay. Sooooo there you are - totally lost interest and/or intrigue before you actually ever met the dude in reality. And that’s the problem people know too much about you before you even told them about you. I don’t want him to see all the pictures of me dancing like a twat cause that makes me undatable but thanks to Fuckbook even your parents can see these pictures, woooo.

Also what the hell is all this E-dating about? Some people tend to believe that Fuckbook is, hmmmm, well literally just that. Add a random hot guy (of course hotness is only judged by the profile pic which could be anybody and on top it could be photoshopped if you know what I mean) and if he likes your profile picture then well, good chances are you gonna go on a date…if he lives in the same town and is not a fan of Coldplay of course. However, what the hell are you gonna talk about on your date then? Right darlings NOTHING cause he already knows EVERYTHING, sucky. So the only option you have is to get majorly drunk to avoid the awkward silences and then you throw up all over his favourite checked shirt/band Tee and you will never see him again AND you will get Fuckbook abused AND/OR you will be deleted from his friend’s as well, ouch. So listen to me kids, say no to E-dating!!!

Laters Linda x

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