The Art of Writing a Love Letter

Morning lovers, it’s time for one of those coherent blog posts, I reckon. I have been going off into bla bla land way too often recently. Today I would like to share my infinite wisdom on how to write love letters. Now you are gonna say: What? Love letters? We live in the digital age, come on girl. But then I believe that a bit retro written love letter action can unlock many hearts. Especially those of the female variety.

So what do you need to write a love letter? Pen. Check. Paper. Check. Infatuation bordering on obsession. Check.

So once you got over how old-fashioned writing letters is, you can actually indulge in some slightly over-the-top but sincere revelation of pure emotion. Great, innit?

The good (or bad) thing about writing letters is that you can say whatever you want without having to consider the other persons reactions/feelings/shock/laughter. It’s liberating, you should try it. So here a few tips on the art of writing love letters.

Don’t be too scary straight away, so maybe start off with some conversational chatter, like “Hi [name] how are you? Recently, I have been thinking about that one time we went to Disneyworld together…” It will make him reminisce about how much fun you are to be with, consequently warm and mushy feelings start to emerge. Now capitalise on them. Talk about how amazing you are and what a great catch you’d be, but don’t be arrogant.

It’s always good to quote some really emotional song lyrics that you know he/she loves to bits. Gets you in there straight away because not only do you say something super romantic but you also say it in the words of his/her fave artists. It shows that you know and that you care. If he/she likes 30 Seconds to Mars, ditch the quoting.

If you really wanna go old-skool, quote some metaphysical poetry from John Donne, which will warm even the most intellectual of hearts.

It is also crucial to be nice. A little flattery can go a long way, so instead of saying “I quite like your jeans” say “I really admire your sense of style”. Similarly, if he/she is a cat lover (which, let’s face it, any good and love-letter-worthy-person better be) then compliment him/her on his/her cat. But don’t say “I love your pussy”.

Be jokey, but don’t be jovial. Be cute but don’t be too saccharine. It’s all about finding the right balance between keeping a little bit of mystery and revealing just enough to intrigue him/her even more. If you make him/her laugh, you’re halfway there anyway. So be quirky all the way. No ‘knock knock’ jokes though.

Now the MOST crucial thing. The xs. I know boys don’t give a shit about how many xs you make at the end of a message/letter, but girls do consider their meaning and value, trust me. So one x means “I kinda like you, but I’m not completely sure yet”. Two xs means “Fuck I really like you but I don’t wanna seem too keen”. Three xs either means “I’m actually over what xs mean” or “Let’s get married”. Now the most complicated version of xs the Gossip Girl style xoxo. Personally, I’m not a big fan of this version, cause it’s too cuddly and not brimming with desire, the xoxo is for friends, the x is for lovers.

Get writing people!

Linda x (“I kinda like you, but I’m not completely sure yet.”) Ha!!