Friday, 30 July 2010
Thursday, 29 July 2010
Cream of chicken soup – maybe a classic, certainly a classic in my life as I love the chicken. With its full flavour Cream of Chicken soup is a long standing favourite, which tastes especially great garnished with parsley and served with a fresh warm brown roll.
In boy form Cream of Chicken soup would be an astonishingly pasty, maybe even milky-skinned beauty of an indie boy. He would mooch around in his slightly low skinny jeans and he would be quite a smooth operator with the ladies. He'd listen to Belle and Sebastian. How I come up with this shit, I don’t know.
Tomato soup – Now I love a good tomato soup especially as it’s got such a spicy yet fruity flavour. But there is a fine distinction between tomato soup and cream of tomato soup and in boy form, I would definitely prefer the latter. Even though tomato soup probably has got fewer calories, cream of tomato soup has flavour and creaminess and texture. Soup with no substance is not delicious soup. Boys with no substance are not delicious boys. You get me?
Mulligatawny soup is a classic, spicy soup made from an exciting combination of beef, rice and curry spices, with a hint of mango chutney. Wowzers, now this boy would be exotic and intriguing and slightly scary. He would wear a bandana. Sometimes. Don’t worry he would look cool, like Slash in his Guns’n’Roses hey-day. He would be all over you one minute and totally elusive the next. However, once you tasted this soup/boy, you’re hooked. There is no way back. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Minestrone - Created with a blend of pasta, selected vegetables and rich tomatoes, Minestrone is a delicious soup. See this soup might look good at first sight with all its varied ingredients and multitude of flavours, but it just doesn’t translate to boy form. Even though the packaging looks highly promising, its contents are a let-down. Too much, too soon. And what does that teach us? Don’t be fooled by the nice packaging, cause the soup probably still got a shitload of salt in it, and will still be bad for you. Pretty boys don’t always equate nice boys.
Spinach & Chickpea Soup – a light Moroccan inspired flavourful soup which contains loads of goodness. This boy would be a hippie at heart and he would sometimes wear sandals or some shit like that. However, he would also be extremely popular and get along with lots of people. He might have a high-powered job in the city but truly he just wants to have his own ranch and become a fig farmer or something. He would listen to Bob Dylan, Godspeed You Black Emperor and Yeasayer. He would be sweet.
Oxtail Soup – This is a rather strong and very meaty soup. Not the easiest to stomach for some, a true specialty for others. This boy would be a jock. He would be a right beefcake and be well into his rugby/football/gym. However, when it’s time for cuddling he’s all up for it, cause at heart he’s just a little lamb.
Broccoli & Melton Mowbray Stilton Soup – Wow what a soup. Rich, intensely flavoured and very peculiar. Broccoli and Stilton, that sounds a bit like a love-hate affair, but there are definitely sparks there. Hence it’s not everybody’s cup of tea, but people who love it, really love it. As a boy this soup would be quite an intense and moody specimen, but he would also have particular charms and really deep green eyes. He’s one of those that always remain slightly mysterious, maybe even awkward. Simultaneously, he’s also fascinating. He would have smelly feet though.
Carrot & Coriander Soup – Hmm this light and fresh soup contains quite an explosive combination. Some people love coriander, others hate it with a passion. This boy would be an artist, he would be colourful in dress sense and life style. He would be difficult, but once you got to grips with his emotional volatility, he would be an exciting guy to be with and surely never bland or boring. The two C’s in this soup surely stand for crazy and colourful. Try at your own risk.
Finally, there are a few words of wisdom about soup and boys that that my extraordinarily clued-up friend and super blogger Emma wants to share:
1. Soup that still has the leftover spoon of the person before in it is soup that you don’t want to get involved with.
2. Cold soup is not appealing soup. Boys with no affection are a definite LOSE.
Wednesday, 28 July 2010
‘Glitter’, the new single from L.A. stoner-noise-pop whizz kids No Age, is the perfect DIY guide to blissed-out, fuzzed-up garage rock. Whetting your appetite with a slow clap intro, they dive right into a feedback heavy screechy lo-fi anthem that flawlessly conjures up images of hanging out on a beach, smoking spliff, spending afternoons skating and ‘chillaxing’ with REALLY cool people in L.A.
This indie dream boat duo consisting of guitarist Randy Randall and drummer Dean Allen Spunt blast out an absolute racket of a song which is reminiscent of a more cheerful and less teenage angsty Smashing Pumpkins – not the whiny version of Smashing Pumpkins, but rather the glorious and triumphantly tuneful version of Corgan’s band.
Combining just the right level of screechiness with an abundance of thrash-ladden melody, No Age bathe in sun-soaked melancholia. Whilst their tunes are chirpy and upbeat, their lyrics are rather bleak. On ‘Glitter’, drummer/vocalist Dean complains that: “I don’t feel nothing unless it’s broke”, but the beauty underneath No Age’s musical cloud of doom is that with an energy so contagious and a voice so emotive, a distinct sense of optimism still shines through brightly and brilliantly.
On their website it says that when writing songs, they set out with one particular rule in mind: To write songs that we would be psyched to listen to. With ‘Glitter’ they have more than achieved that!
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Hiya guys, recently I went into depression / excitement / then depression again / then indifference about some guy. Same as always and it got me thinking. Also same as always. So I have compiled this over- and under-guide which makes it way easy to handle guys. Especially guys that you don’t understand. So here it is, live by its rules.
Overkill and then underkill. (Apparently you have to be full on and then pretend to not give a shit anymore, which makes them crazy)
Under-promise, but over-deliver.
Under-dress, but over-accessorise.
Being undersold on a guy is definitely better than being over the rainbow about him.
Under the covers rather than over the shirt.
Understated rather than overstated. Deffo.
Under-caring, yay! Overbearing, nay!
Under-stand, but don’t over-analyse.
I choose an underdog over an overachiever any day!
Underwear, boom. Overknee socks, booo.
Monday, 26 July 2010
Even though Shoreditch’s very own 1234 festival is notorious for people caring more about their chic shoes than their tunes, this year’s line-up of Dum Dum Girls, Rolo Tomassi and These New Puritans was too temptingly good to avoid. Arriving at Shoreditch Park to find the guestlist queue longer than the pay-ticket queue, nightmares of a scenester filled fashion show-off seemed to become true already.
Trailer Trash Tracys entered the main stage around 2 p.m. and this afternoon show was so mind-numbingly boring, it made watching the crowd way more entertaining. With their uhh-ing and ahh-ing they might catch the attention of some O.A.P.s living in the council estate overseeing the park, but in terms of filling the main stage with presence, they failed miserably.
Next on the main stage were goth poppers S.C.U.M. and despite all of them basically being teenage school-kids, they look like they could have stepped out of a Herzog movie. Pre-war chic twinned with post-rock melancholia equals a not very believable nor enjoyable rendition of Nick Cave like pompous pop. S.C.U.M. surely stands for Shouldn’t (have) Come (to watch this) Unaccomplished Music.
On after S.C.U.M. were the more talented and more accessible Dum Dum Girls, who, despite being plagued with a terribly bad sound-system on the main stage, managed to pull off a good show. Their girl group multi-tonal singing was riddled with unwanted screechy feedback, which sadly ruined main parts of the set. Favourites such as ‘Jail La La’ came to life through the unusual mix of ethereal dreamy girl rock and effortlessly cool anti-pop. As a self-confessed “choir nerd”, singer Dee Dee knows how entice the crowd with harmonies so breezy they could actually make you forget the unbearable heat in front of the main stage. Describing their own sound as “Blissed Out Buzzsaw”, this L.A. four-piece know their strengths. With an enigmatic lead-singer, who is in equal parts Karen O and Karen Carpenter and a band that plays so tightly, it feels like they have being going at it for years, Dum Dum Girls show us how melodious fuzz is done properly.
After hot girl drone rock, old man Peter Hook set off to perform Joy Division’s seminal 1979 debut album ‘Unknown Pleasures’ live. In the words of one famous 1234 attendee: “Ian Curtis is already dead. Why kill him any more?” And yes, it was that bad.
Wavves saved the day with their lo-fi yet high-powered charming geek pop. Wavves a.k.a. 22 year old Nathan Williams has found his little musical niche somewhere between blissed-out sunburnt West Coast slacker surf rock and alluringly nerd-tastic loopy skate noise-pop. So many genres, so few names. However, all you need to know is that Wavves are great.
Totally in tune with the DIY ethics of Wavves, we headed over to watch house-party-take-over veterans Rolo Tomassi who played in the tiny Artrocker tent. Despite the fact that the tent was bursting at every corner, Rolo Tomassi absolutely commanded the crowd with their untouchable blend of teen hyper-happy-hardcore.
Most enjoyable part of the festival certainly was A1 Bassline and Shunda K of Yo Majesty! fame rocking the Dollop dance tent. Finally in here people forgot to stare at their shoes and started rocking out. And I like nothing more than a proper day-time rave.
The big highlight of the festival was supposed to be These New Puritans headlining the Rough Trade stage, which never materialised due to a broken sound-system. The organisation was shoddy and punters and band alike were justifiably pissed off at such a massive mishap.
All in all, fuzz was the word of the day. Nearly all bands sounded the same. Dum Dum Girls were great. Their sound sadly wasn’t and it was a real shame that These New Puritans didn’t even get the chance to perform, because most people were there only for them. Next year I’d rather go to Latitude.