Tuesday, 10 August 2010

The only valid excuses not to turn up on a date....

Last night I got stood up. Seriously. Me! Anyway, what a loser. But to be honest I thought it was quite a funny and superb irony of life and also a self-love, fuck-that-shit-I’m-better-than-that moment.

Then it dawned on me. There are only so many excuses you can legitimately use not to turn up on a date. Here they are.

You sawed your own arm off with a chainsaw.

Someone else sawed your arm off with a chainsaw.

You choked on a jelly bean.

You saw your Chihuahua choking and had to take him to the vet. Awww.

The football world cup is on.

You met Natalie Portman and she asked you out. Fair enough.

You met Josh Hartnett, he asked you out and consequently you realised you’re gay. Fair enough.

Your plane crashed.

You died.

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