Monday, 17 May 2010

Waddle Waddle Plop Plop

Hiya beloved readers, sorry for the late post today, couldn’t do my usual early bird blogging! Also sorry for the title, couldn't think of a good one. Well anyway, here are 50% Linda brain-dump and 50% just purely ingenious advice. You know you need those kind words in your life. Enjoy.

To start off with a right highlight. TUNE!

Every time you miss him, just look at his fat kid photos and thank God you don’t have to cope with the fat bullied kid inside of the slim guy.

If he’s a ‘My Way or the Highway’ kind of guy, you might as well just take the highway. Better option.

If he says he likes Trip-Hop, just turn around and walk away.

If he says he likes Triple-Hop-Blues-Rave, you might as well stay for another five and figure out what the fuck he is on about.

If he can get wood... and build a chair with it, he’s a keeper fo’ sho’.

I don’t know how it is with you, but I’d totes appreciate it if guys could not be ‘playas’ but would simply become gentleman.

If you’re going on a speed-date make sure you always talk to the most desperate looking person first. Can’t really go downhill from there, I reckon.

Don’t go speed-dating. It’s just sad.

As for style advice from good ole Linda, don’t sparkle like a disco ball, shine like a diamond. Fuck me, tackiest line ever.

That’s it for now, hope you enjoyed. See you laters!

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