Friday, 7 May 2010
Morning lovers, how are you today?
The other day, I deliberated what it means to be girlfriend material. I also deliberated what it means to be classed as non-girlfriend material and I thought about the kind of person who would judge things that simplistically. Let’s get into it then.
Defining a girl as either being girlfriend material or as one-night-stand material, as that’s the natural opposite, I suppose, is not only terribly presumptuous but also mostly done by guys who are covering their insecurity by over-the-top self-assurance.
Let’s get this straight. Naturally you will have a leaning towards wanting to be WITH a girl or merely wanting a girl, but judging that in such a one-dimensional way really doesn’t shed good light on you.
Anyone that says a girl in non-girlfriend material is either very judgemental and hasn’t bothered to get to know the girl properly, or is actually just not looking for a girlfriend themselves and using that as an excuse. Then again, some men and women project an image via their clothes, the way they hold themselves etc that isn’t a true representation of themselves but because we meet so many different people over the course of our day/week/month we jump to conclusions without getting to know them and label people to save time. Things just aren’t that clear-cut. Things are complicated and maybe it would be better to take some time to really consider all sides of the coin (for God’s sake there are only two of them) rather than jumping the gun.
Let’s presume you only had one date with the not-girlfriend-material-girl in question and she was funny and talkative and cute and everything you thought you wanted. So first-class girlfriend material then, right?
However, she also didn’t hide her little quirks, insecurities or past disappointments. Not so much girlfriend material anymore? How is that possible please? Obviously everybody has issues and the sooner you discover them the better, right? Maybe not. If somebody is so narrow-minded to look for the perfect girl on the first date, that girl who can easily be classed as girlfriend material, who doesn’t have any emotional baggage, or a belly, or wonky teeth or trust issues, let me tell you one thing, that girl is unreal. Perfect girls don’t exist!
If you’re the kind of guy who labels girls as girlfriend-material or not-girlfriend-material, then you’re probably also the guy who has been single for far too long. You’re wondering why? It’s because you’re chasing something that’s illusionary. You’re applying really strict rules to people that you most likely cannot fulfil either. I cannot comprehend how anyone can assume a superior position and so easily evaluate somebody as some kind of ‘material’? That’s just wrong.
Really getting to know somebody as a whole person, as a real person and not just a minuscule facet of that whole person, is the only way to actually figure out whether that person is compatible or not. People have thoughts and feelings and I guess one or two dates are surely not enough to form a full opinion on a person. Certainly it’s not long enough to judge someone, either.
So girls, if someone labels you as not-girlfriend material, you’re better off without them anyway! Who gives a fuck. And remember what non-girlfriend material is for one person is perfect girlfriend material for another.