RULEZZZZZZZ

Hello lovers, it’s that time again. I have actually been reading up on Bentham’s authoritarianism and I have hence come up with some rules of my own. Today I am indulging in some highly one-dimensional generalisations. So some more of the same really. Having declared my mission for 2010 to be bringing back romance, I contemplated rules about datable and undatable guys. Strict and simple, in your face. They go a bit like that:

NOOOO!!!!!

If you only think a guy is hot because he behaves like an autist/Asperger syndrome patient, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy casually drinks 10 or more Sambuccas at a party, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy dresses more fashionably than you, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy smokes more than 2 joints a night, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy is in a semi-successful band, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy is called Reginald, Roland or Ronald, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy never pays for your drinks, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy kissed more than 100 girls before he turns 35, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy owns more shoes than you, he’s totally undatable.
If a guy shaves his privates more frequently than you, he’s totally undatable.

YESSERS!!!!!

If a guy makes playlists/mixtapes/collages for you, he’s totally datable.
If a guy takes you to football matches and lends you is team scarf, he’s totally datable.
If a guy wears more colourful socks than you, he’s totally datable.
If a guy has longer hair than you, he’s totally datable.
If a guy pays for your drinks and cab home, he’s totally datable.
If a guy takes you out to spontaneous roadtrips to the seaside, he’s totally datable.
If a guy tells you he loves your flaws, he’s totally datable.
If a guy has less than 100 Fuckbook friends, he’s totally datable.
If a guy knows stuff about Foucault that you don’t, he’s totally datable.
If a guy is not scared to dance to cheesy R’n’B/R’n’R with you, he’s totally datable.
If a guy calls you/emails back within a day, he’s totally datable.

Easy!

Laters, Linda x