Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Today I’m graduating in the art of ignoring boys, MSc…or maybe not
So I guess my Dawson’s Creek post will have to be delayed until I have actually watched Dawson’s Creek again, but not that horrible episode when Pacey breaks up with Joey during their prom on that boat, cause breaking up on a boat must suck, big time! Plus Pacey was behaving like an egomaniacal, insecure spoilt brat, but I digress and yes more on that later!
Today’s post actually concerns the nature of why boys must be ignored to be intrigued. You guessed it, not my specialty really. But after chatting extensively to my friends and always hearing the same advice (“Just don’t reply”, “Just pretend you don’t like him”, “Just don’t ever tell him you think he’s hot”, “Just don’t ever make the first step”) I have come to the conclusion that boys are weird. Yes.
I believe that there’s no harm in telling anybody that you think they rock your world or that they are funny/hot/charming/hot/all of the above (yes I KNOW I said hot twice) but I guess in real life that’s a major problem! Why? Because it freaks boys out and they think we think about babies and buying a house together, but we don’t. Well at least I don’t. All I think is wow that guy is funny/hot/charming/hot/all of the above (yes I KNOW I said hot twice) and that I wouldn’t mind spending some more time with him. Easy.
However, I have to qualify what I just said because recently I have experienced the same situation, just in reverse. And guess what? It freaked me out big time and totally put me off, because the boy in question just seemed so needy and pathetic. I reckon that anybody, who seems too available, is lowered in my estimation because being in demand equals being hot property and who doesn’t want hot property? It’s the competitive streak in us, isn’t it?
However, I believe that telling somebody that you want to be with them is not that much of a problem in the first place; the problem comes after that first step. Do I text first? Does he text first? Does he even remember me? If I felt like that, did he feel like that too? All these questions just fuck you up and make you feel insecure and paranoid (not a good look). And that’s when the problem arises. Whoever texts first, puts themselves (and their feelings) out there first and then the power dynamics are set for the entirety of the relationship. And trust me you don’t want to hold less power than him, cause that just makes you his bitch.
So, I guess my advice is that if he actually likes you/is intrigued in some way, shape or form, he will eventually (1 day up to 1 week) reply and if he is not intrigued anymore/does not want to talk to you, then I guess that’s it. Don't waste your time on him. You don’t know what might be going on in his life and you will never find out, so just move on. I know it sucks and it seems like too much effort, but that’s life and you can’t win the game without playing it…now I just have to follow my own advice, and yes S**n I am talking to you.