Monday, 8 February 2010
Hello lovers, today’s post is about engineering. And I am not talking engineering as the discipline, art and profession of acquiring and applying technical, scientific, and mathematical knowledge to design and implement materials, structures, machines, devices, systems, and processes that safely realise a desired objective or invention. Ermmmm no, I am talking social engineering. Ya get it?
I hung out with super-duper social engineers on the weekend and I like to believe that I picked up some tricks. Let me elaborate. Looking back at my last post you might remember that being open about feelings is a no-go. Not a no-go in general, but in terms of getting with someone you like. Boys get scared, freaked out, terrified and paranoid if you say “I like you”. However, there are ways of showing them you like them without being too bold or obvious.
First thing to master the art of engineering would be staying sober and not get pissed at social events cause once you are pissed you’re telling anybody that you like them. Yes even the beefcake in the corner.
The second tip is that you have to lull them into some kind of comfort, you know a bit like a baby on a mum’s breast, in order to make them feel good about themselves and even more crucial make them feel comfortable about approaching you. That is the tricky thing. Boys are insecure. You know it, I know it. How can we avoid it? We can’t. So your mission will be to seem genuine and to compliment them on their face, hair, wit and bad jokes. Generally making them feel good, will make them feel good about you, too.
Third tip is that you have to ‘forget’ your phone/keys/sweater in his bag. Yeah I know, I know not very subtle but very effective, because not only will you have to meet him to get your stuff back, but you will probably also meet him alone and be able to invite him for a drink to say ‘thanks’ for keeping your stuff. Be smart, play dumb(-ish). I don’t mean dropped-on-the-head-as-a-baby Paris Hilton dumb, just adorably forgetful.
Finally, you have to engineer a situation where you seem mysterious and yet approachable, unattainably sexy and yet girl-next-door. You have to have fun but not too much fun without him. You have to enjoy yourself but signal that you would be enjoying yourself more with him. What I am trying to say is that social engineering is fucking hard work and the boy better be worth this time-consuming, nerve-wrecking chore.
Now if all of the above seems very manipulative and not very genuine, then that’s because it is, but you know the romance game is a tough one. You could also just go and say “Hey, I really wanna snog you” – which might just work too.