Touch knees, touch hearts

Hello lovers, no more posting ‘credible’ reviews of bands, making pie charts, putting qualitative photos up. Enough of that.

Today, I am going back to grade 9 attempting to evaluate ‘signals’ from boys. You know the whole ‘does-he-like-me-or-doesn’t-he-like-me’ shebang. In pre-school everything was so easy, he pushed you over on the playground, he was into you big time. That he sat with you on the swings meant he ‘only liked you as a friend’. But since those playful days, things have changed dramatically. Gender politics, venereal diseases, broken hearts, broken phones, and broken noses…Boom.

I know, I know my frequent readers will be able to testify that I believe boys don’t even know what ‘signals’ are, let alone that they consciously use them to pull/find love/find something/someone, but I thought it’s still a good idea to try and figure out what’s going on, cause you know openly saying ‘I like you’ to someone these days can single-handedly be equated with desperation. Heaven forbid that we are honest and open about our feelings, I mean hello?

So after getting together with my focus group and discussing the topic in depth, here are the results. Things that clearly indicate he likes you. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

If he ignores you completely and talks to a slutty, fake-tanned blonde instead, he likes you! He’s also a douche-bag.

If he makes you a playlist, he likes you. If there is Pixie Lott on his playlist, he’s got issues.

If he tells you straight to your face that he has never met anyone like you and that he wants to be with you in a romantic relationship way, he wants to shag you.

If he doesn’t add you on Facebook even though he perfectly well knows you’re on it, he’s into you. It’s a game about power though.

If he calls you ‘matey’, 'mate', 'bro' or 'hey you there', forget about him.

So this is the ultimate tip. If you don’t know a guy and get chatting to him and he keeps casually touching your knee with his knee, he likes you in a good way. If you wanna figure out if someone likes you, do the ‘knee-touching-trick’ and if he pulls away, shizzle, but if he keeps touching back, jackpot! If your legs are glued together by the end of the night, girl you worked the magic!

If he keeps looking at you thinking that you’re not seeing him look, he’s into you but he’s also shy. It’s the peek-a-boo of flirting.

However, on most parts, it’s true boys don’t do anything like EVER. They don’t even know that you are on a date until you put your tongue in their mouth. Deal with it. Touch knees. Touch hearts.

Laters Linda