Wednesday, 17 March 2010

The safe date

Hi lovers, I have been off topic for some time now. I do apologise. I mean there is only so much you can say about boys, right? WRONG! There is always more. So today I would like to explore the infinite possibilities of ‘safe dates’.

A safe date is basically a date with someone you are not completely sure about. You know you don’t really fancy him to start off with, but you think you might depending on the level of drunkenness, comfort and compliments.

It’s like that after-work date that with a colleague, who always fixes your computer because he fancies the shit outta you and just wants to talk to you. Who likes you but who you don’t like. It’s like finding comfort in going out with someone who is a 4 when you are a 7. It’s like going on a date with an elementary school teacher who is really boring but who makes you feel like you have the most exciting life ever. It’s a bit mean really, but you never know what happens right? After all she is going out with him.

So anyway, back to the topic at hand. Let’s fantasise about the perfect safe date. This is how it should be.

Your safe date meets you somewhere in the city. He looks much better than you remember. He is nice and laid-back but also interested and keen enough. Not so keen it scares you, just the right kind of keen to make you feel desired. He takes you to a lovely restaurant (in a cab, not the tube or bus). He has reserved a nice quiet table at the back. He realises that you look a bit uncomfortable in this posh environment and asks if you like it. You lie and say it’s okay. He senses you hate it and says “Fuck this, let’s go to KFC.” You go to KFC, which is conveniently enough just around the corner. You have best Zinger Meal of your life. He doesn’t mind watching you eat. Then you go to the pub around the corner and talk about life and love and disappointment for ever. You sort of get pissed, but not that utterly and totally inebriated kind of pissed but the nice warm kind of wasted. It’s perfect. He doesn’t try it on and just takes you to your home. He is a gentleman. He gives you a goodnight kiss (on the cheek) and then takes your number. He says he wants to meet you again tomorrow to go to the zoo or to the countryside or to Lewisham. He says he hopes he doesn’t come across too keen. You smile.

Whatever guys just go for it. Maybe it ’s good. Maybe it’s better than waiting for ‘Mr. Right’ for the rest of your life. I wouldn’t know. Ha!

Laters lovers x

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