Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Different guys for different times.

Hiya blog lovers, today I’m writing about girls dating the boy’s way. Let me elaborate. Girls in particular tend to believe in the fairytale ending with ‘the one’. Firmly convinced that ‘the one’ is out there somewhere most girls sit and wait around, whereas I believe that boys just go with the flow. For them it’s all about timing. If the most beautiful and compatible girl comes along but they don’t want a relationship cause they are going through their ‘party phase’ or their ‘lone rebel phase’ or their ‘I don’t feel like talking phase’, there’s no way in. No way whatsoever. However, if they have been single for some time or if all their friends are getting loved up or if they are getting closer and closer to mid-life crisis, they start thinking about getting a girlfriend…and voila the next day the first halfway suitable girl that comes along will become the love of their life.  So basically I think that girls should become a bit more pragmatic in who they date, cause why wait for the whole package forever when you can have a little bit of it right now?

So I have come up with this list of different guys that are ideal dating material for different phases in life. Let’s be realistic about the L word.

First we have the rude boy. Now I love a rude boy, preferably from West London (or Lewisham), who’s into all the wrong music and who’s called something like Wayne. A rude boy is good for moments when you just wanna go to a club and dance to Little, errrrrr, Wayne or talk about how great Rihanna is. A rude boy will let you know that he “digs” you and there’s no pussyfooting around. No time for pussyfooting in the “ends”. A rude boy will always call you his “babe” or “honey” and he won’t have a problem with ordering chicken burgers at 2am either, on the contrary the burger man will be his best buddy. Please excuse my blatant stereotyping. I have a lot of love for the Waynes, Barringtons and Demarions of the world. Aighhhhhhhht blud!

Then we have the intellectual one. It’s advisable that you date this one when you’re in the final year at uni cause he can always help you with your essays on the history of the language imperialism in the 1890s and he’s also good as a human synonym dictionary for when your computer is broken. If you fancy an in-depth conversation about the repression under the Russian Tsarist system this guy is the jackpot.  However, after you’ve had your fill of intelligence and animated conversation, this one can become slightly irritating with his overemphasis on manners and rules instead of fun and frolics.  No I don’t always wanna talk about the suffragette movement and cite Nietzsche but sometimes I just wanna talk about Jason DeRulo and cite The Simpsons.  And not feel guilty or stupid about it.

Thirdly, we have Mister Nice Guy. Every girl has a Mister Nice Guy in her life. It’s the guy you meet straight after you’ve broken up with ‘the one’ who wasn’t the one. It’s the guy that cheers you up and tells you you’re beautiful and that ‘the one’ was a bellend. It’s the one that you don’t really fancy but that you wish you would. It’s the one your parents want you to marry.  But it’s also the one that you know you’ll never marry cause there’s no fire only friendship, no spark only comradeship.

In opposition to Mister Nice Guy there’s the mean guy. Girls love bastards, cause they think it’s a challenge to turn them into nice guys. Girls think they will take care of the mean guy and fix his issues. Girls are wrong. The arsehole enjoys his power and won’t ever change his ways to please a girl, he’s way too up himself to do that. The arsehole will play games and he’ll enjoy driving you nuts by being illusive. Girls go crazy for that shit. Only date the mean guy if you wanna be put off of guys for some time or if you enjoy humiliation.

So that’s it - different guys for different times. Ultimately, I think you’ll need a little bit of all of them. A little bit of Wayne’s laid-back spaced-out chicken-loving uncomplicated persona, spiced with some good conversation about important shit with the smart one, and some selfless loving from the nice one with the occasional challenging fiery love-hate of mister mean.

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