Morning guys, today I would like to write about realism. Now you’re going to think -Erghh? What? How? Has Linda gone arty or something? But no I would like to talk about how people these days think ‘romance’ is not realistic anymore. How sad is that?
Being realistic means looking at things as they “really” are. But who are we to know what things ‘really’ are? Being realistic means being neither positive nor negative – just accepting the way things are. This literally sounds like a death trap to me. Like the end of all imagination and joy. Fuck holistic attitudes. Fuck being even-tempered. Fuck being realistic.
Whilst watching this movie, it came to my understanding that meeting someone, wherever, falling in love, unconditionally and unquestioningly, and actually making a conscious decision to be with that person is unrealistic. WTF?
Has society really conditioned us to stop believing that there is something magical about falling in love? That it can happen anywhere and that people can connect on many different levels?
I mean, yes, sadly it doesn’t happen a lot, but it does happen sometimes and I would like to comprehend how society has made us believe that that kind of falling in love is unrealistic. Is completely sterile on-line dating or a meaningless encounter in clubs and bars really the way we go about things these days? I don’t fucking hope so, cause that would really depress me and as the eternal optimist I am, I believe there is more to it, really.
I am jaded too for sure, but I know that things like that happen, because they happened to me before. I met random strangers on busses and they became great friends. I saw ‘the one guy’ and I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me, too. Is that unrealistic? Or is it simply what sometimes happens in that little space between people and their feelings that is inexplicable and magical and hence labelled as unrealistic.
Maybe if you have never been in love before and experienced that kind of magic, then you’d think so. But I am still dreaming because if people don’t dream big, then they consequently don’t think big either. I doubt that Rothko was particularly realistic. But what materialised out of his ‘unrealistic’ attitude is ‘real’ magic. Do you get me?
So to end with an extremely tacky line (it wouldn’t be the first time) I would like to say: Dream on lovers! Shitaroo, that sounds like a Kylie Minouge song.
Laters Linda x
Hi Linda,
ReplyDeleteI take your point and I don't think anyone would dismiss 'lightning bolt - love at first sight' type scenarios (albeit unlikely) as completely out of the realms of possibility but I do find your view to be somewhat blinkered.
You say you want to dream big to think big - do you not think that thinking big necessitates a touch of realism for inspiration to materialise into reality? And do you not also think that realism is a necessary and essential ingredient to help safeguard us against the negatives life has to throw at us? e.g. I'd love to walk home through streets in the middle of the night, appreciating how serene a sleeping city/town/village can be in early hours, but depending on the circumstances realism sometimes stops me walking alone - as a single female it has obvious dangers. I'd like to believe that all strangers are good and kind people but if I'm sitting on the underground and the person opposite is smiling incessantly at me do I think "ooh, what a nice person maybe I should strike up conversation?" Nope. Similarly in relationships once we meet that special person who is completely on our wavelength do we think "fab, job's a good'un, that's me sorted" or do we acknowledge that relationships, no matter how strong the foundations of love are that they're built on, will categorically always require effort and compromises -this is being realistic. Nobody's perfect, irritations will be inevitable, I don't see how a sustaining healthy relationship is possible without accepting some of that realism, otherwise you'll be disappointed with life and project impossible expectations on the person you claim to unconditionally love.
Of course we need optimism, but also realism as you've defined is vital as well...