Friday, 10 June 2016

He's just not that into you girl - a guest blog post

Hi lovers, you know that my wisdom is nearly infinite but every now and then even I need help. So I asked a very good mate / sister in self-analysis / wisdom-wonder-woman and returning guest blogger R. for some advice. 

She once wrote a beauty on this very blog about finding yourself in Paris and now she's back to let you know when enough is enough. When to pack your bags and leave. When to stop caring.
There you have it. 


“I’ll text you...”
Nothing good can ever come of this half-arsed, wishy-washy sign off. It’s not a promise of a future date, a sign of lingering affection or anything else that might warm your little heart. The only text that will be coming your way (if at all) is the “we’re not a match” one. Take this one as a sign to put this dude in the metaphorical bin and move on to the next.

2.       “I’m just at a really busy time in my life right now.”
Now, this one could very well be true. Guys have all the stresses and time drains that we deal with. But frankly, unless you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, you’ll find a way to fit that special person into your busy life. Or, you’ll have the sense to leave dating alone until you actually have the time to do it properly.

3.       The procrastinator.
You haven’t been dumped and he’s still replying to your messages, but somehow you haven’t nailed down that next date. Chances are he’s juggling other dates, is just too yellow-bellied to end it, or is currently having kittens over the fact he’s got past the third date. Whatever reason, a sudden lack of enthusiasm is just that. And why would you want someone who’s not head over heels about the thought of seeing your gorgeous face?

4.       “If only you were….”
STOP. Stop right there. Any dicksplash who demands a change in your fabulous natural state in order to love you has either been brought up to think that airbrushed, lifeless dolls are a desirable love match or just has the emotional depth of a paddling pool. Look in the mirror and love your body hair, your extra pounds, your ridiculous dress sense, your scars and your stretchmarks. Then realise that singledom is vastly preferable to a guy who wants to shape you into his own perfect blow-up doll.

5.       Scarpering after sex.
Oh god, you did it. A night of the horizontal tango and you feel great. Except, the slavering hound you previously had fight off with a stick has now turned into a kittycat; cute, but ultimately distant. Did you fuck up fucking? Unless you’re into spiralling self-doubt and chipping away at your sexual self-esteem, don’t even give this thought any room in your beautiful head. It might be that he’s lost the thrill of the chase, perhaps he’s devastated you didn’t entertain his toenail fetish, either way, any guy who can’t bear to stick around after you popped your cork for him is not the one for you.
Girl, love yourself.

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