Me: Hi I’m Linda.
Him: You’re not from here? (Terrible scrunched up face)
Five minutes of awkward conversation.
Me: So you know I really like so and so band and this rapper dude.
Him: I’m really into Morrocan trance fusion right now!
Five minutes of silence.
Him: You don’t like gaps in the conversation do you?
Me: Hmmm no not really.
Him: Yeah, I can tell…
Me: So what have you learned from love? (One of his songs is called ‘Learned from Love’ – thought it’s a valid questions FYI)
Him: Why the fuck would I tell you?
Me: (Looking at nearest exit and contemplating walking out but instead I say “Oh dear I didn’t wanna offend you, I actually would like to know”) The fucker rude-trumped me and I was so baffled that I took on the part of subdued quiet girl. YIKES.
Him: Rolling his eyes.
Me: So do you have a plan B, like something you want to do other than music?
Him: If I had a plan B I would never follow through with plan A, you know you are not really validating my reality here.
Me: (thinking *Shit this is not getting any better, but I felt glued to my chair paralysed by being rude-trumped by this dude with a top knot*)
Five minutes of agitated apologising about nothing on my part, trying to get this conversation back on track.
Him: You know this is funny. Usually I don’t hang out with people like you.
Me: Ohhh okay.
Finally it’s over and I can go home. Awkward hug and deep breather ensues.
Him: He then sends me a text at half past midnight saying: “It was nice to meet you. Good and insightful chat. Don’t worry about yourself:) Sorry if I was a bit moody.”