Relation-shit

Hi guys, today I would like to write about something very special, something unique, something that comes totally unexpected. BOYS and relationships! Fuck me, yes again, I’m sorry, I cannot help it.

On the weekend I got together with my ‘romance’ focus group and quite literally witnessed some eye-opening discussions about that eternal mystery called love.

Obvs now I would like to share these insights with you. This post is metaphorically challenging, so please don’t think literally, think laterally!

So we all know that sometimes a relationship just turns into relation-shit and in order to avoid that from happening there are some steps to take. Listen up!

A very wise man told me that you always need to clean up after yourself – metaphorically speaking. So no lying, no deceiving and no indulging in a new relationship if you’re still mentally grinding over the last one. It’s quite simple. It all starts with one little crump and if you clean up as you go along, you’ll be fine. You can always use a nice and clean kitchen and you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for. But if you don’t clean up as you go along, that one little crump will turn into a heap of crumps and sooner or later that mess will become too big to clean up. Now your kitchen is mega dirty and the prospect of getting it clean again seems way too overwhelming. And even worse little leftover crumps will keep falling into the cracks of your kitchen appliances and you can never clean that shit up unless you move the entire furniture. Do you get me? Be honest, don’t carry grudges, talk about your feelings and make sure you’re straight up about things.

A yes or no is ALWAYS better than a maybe. Don’t be lame, make a decision.

Whatever floats your boat, make sure you always know where the nearest harbour is.

I reckon that when it comes to relationships understated is always better than overstated. Big feelings – yes. Big make-out sessions in public – no!

If you ask me most of the time sleeping is better for you than sleeping with someone.

And it’s also mates before dates.

But then the last two points maybe illustrate why I am still single….

Laters lovers! Linda x