An
anonymous guest blog post about how sometimes you just gotta get up and change the
things that make you unhappy. Especially after having been to Paris. It goes a
little like this....
„Six
months ago I gave up a well paid job in social marketing for a minimum wage
position in a care home. Some of you may find this admirable, some may think
I'm martyring myself and some might be so overwhelmed by my career change that
they might want to buy me dinner (you can get my number from Linda) But
overall, I'd guess that most of your reactions would be "Why?" Why
would you give up a career in an exciting, fast-moving and lucrative industry
for a stressful and low-paid role in care?
I
reached a point of no return, a clarifying moment that pushed me to make a huge
change in my life. A moment that fancifully happened on a holiday to Paris. I
had a tearful epiphany in L'Isle Saint Louis, behind Notre Dame. Let it never
be said that I do things by halves.
See,
I'd had a stressful few months. Those involved in marketing will know that
despite a projected image of Hoxton hipsters lounging on vintage office chairs
and trading cat videos, it's not an industry for those immune to hard work.
Sure, there's perks and a generally casual and chatty office dynamic, but you
pay for that in late nights, weekend work and some truly horrific clients. (If
any of my former clients are reading this, it's not you. Honestly.)
Social
marketing has all the trappings of a 9 - 5 job, but the nature of the beast
means that it's constant. Your work is never truly done and a crisis could
happen at any time. Forget guiltily checking emails at the weekend, logging
into Facebook and Twitter is enough for you to spot something connected to one
of your clients, and dependent on your mental strength can give you something
to worry and stress about for the whole weekend. Add to this ambitious targets
which need to be hit month on month and you've got a recipe for sleepless
nights and worried weekends.
Now,
some of you will be positively salivating at the prospect of hitting targets
and being on constant alert. And hey, more power to you, go for that job in
social. But it wore me down. I have many qualities that made me good at my job,
a thirst for learning, good communication skills and a creative streak. But
unfortunately, a hunger for targets and a nose for negotiation (I'm not sure
that even makes sense, but let's go with it) are not in my wheelhouse.
Ever
felt like you didn't belong? That creeping feeling that you're an imposter, not
meant to be somewhere? That's how I felt. As I struggled to hit targets and
produce results, my resolve began to falter and I began to ask myself some
serious questions. Was a job that left me unable to enjoy my weekends and
evenings worth it? Did the decent salary and social events make up for that
sick feeling in my stomach when I approached the door on a Monday.
Short
answer: no. So after my Parisian wobble, I handed in my notice. I was half
expecting some last minute regrets as I walked out of the door on my last day,
but apart from the sadness of leaving some lovely workmates behind, I felt
free. Scared of the unknown future, but free of the marketing-shaped albatross
that had hung around my neck and pecked at my self-respect.
I
left my lovely rented flat, and moved back in with my parents. My furniture
went into storage and I started scouring the job boards. I had an inkling that
I might be suited to a caring role, having taken on some volunteer work at
university and loved it, so I went for every entry-level role that I could
find. After a few weeks, I got an interview and almost immediately, a job
offer. I found a friend foolish enough to let me move in with her and the rest
is history (or the last 4 months of my life, at least)
And
here I sit, in my bed, resting up for my next 12 hour shift and writing this
down. I go home from work exhausted, I've experienced death several times and
I've seen the heartbreaking effects of dementia on old and frail people. It's
so hard. But you know what? I can do it. I'm not perfect at it and I still have
terrifying moments where my confidence falters. But I fit this job. I go to
work and see the foundations of a challenging and rewarding career that I can
do. I've never been happier."
